"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize