Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
