OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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