How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
