Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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