Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
