...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
