VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
