He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!