True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.