She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
