i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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