D3 body, D1 cock
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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