This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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