well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Say something about gay babies.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
