i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
