i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
