My hand turned me down
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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