I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize