Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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