Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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