im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
