I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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