their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
