Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We just shotgunned beers for America
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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