Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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