So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
