last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
