Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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