Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
