I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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