this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
