Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
