You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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