I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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