Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We need a shit load of segways right now
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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