I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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