Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
