i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
