you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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