Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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