do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
