didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
