just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
