You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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