i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
