when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
