she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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