I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
