I heard we made out
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
