Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
