Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize