Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
