im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
