bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
