I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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