Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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