I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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