That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize