covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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