who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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