my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
