sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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