Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
